Samwise and Sacrifice

Life literature goal accomplished: today, I officially completed the Lord of the Rings series. I thoroughly enjoyed them, and was surprised at how much better the books were than the films. Of course, my heart will always belong to the Battle of Gondor scene when Orlando Bloom dispatches an oliphaunt in six seconds. 

One thing that strikes me even more after reading the series is the unbreakable bond of friendship between Sam and Frodo. Sam's love for his friend and master is displayed time and time again throughout their perilous adventure to destroy the source of Sauron's power, the One Ring. Sean Astin portrays this deep affection and loyalty stunningly well in the films, giving due credit to the Samwise Gamgee of Tolkien's world of words. Something I find so remarkable with Sam is that he is never described as brave, valiant, or a warrior; yet, he becomes all of these things because of the extent of his love for Frodo. This pure, beautiful friend-love is shown most keenly in the third book when he carries his master because he can't walk anymore due to the exhaustion from their quest and the evil effect of the Ring. 

With Christians, because of our unity in our Lord and the Holy Spirit, we have such a capacity for friendship. Think about it: Christ-followers are the only people on earth who can understand what love really is and demonstrate true love by the grace of God. After all, if you haven't experienced unconditional love and saving mercy and life-changing truth and forgiveness, how can you possibly turn and demonstrate those things to someone else? "We know love by this, that [Jesus] laid down his life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren" (1 John 3:16). 

Love is UN-human. In our selfishness, we are incapable of doing things purely out of love for others, because at our unredeemed cores we are evil and sinful beings. The "love" society flouts today can be easily broken down to lust. Without Christ, we can't really love at all! But with Christ....

We can love, because we have been loved first (1 John 4:19). I had the opportunity to meet with a friend over coffee who is investigating Christianity. She's been coming to my church and reading the Bible, looking for answers. She told me that she's never met Christians before who are so kind and genuine and loving. Everyone she's ever known who claimed to follow Jesus was an imposter. You can only go so far in play-acting without being truly redeemed, because you can't really love!

The Scriptures tell us that love doesn't happen by accident; it is an intentional choice to sacrificially give yourself to another, to serve, to act like Jesus, to resist the flesh's selfishness, pride, anger, and impatience. Friendships don't just happen.

Walking by the Spirit, who demonstrates his presence in our lives through love among other things, doesn't just happen, either. Galatians 5:16 ("So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh") doesn't include a passive verb. Be reminded that the only reason we can walk in this way because of the One who has called us!

It's a blessed thing to love others and receive love in return; to make friends and have others call you "friend"; and to see God working in the lives of those around you as prayers are answered and he provides. Thank you, Father, that I can see what love is. Thank you, God, for friendship.

Coasting and Caring

Did you fall more in love with Jesus today?

That's heavy, Doc.

Is that not the chief end of man? Something about enjoying God and glorifying him forever? (Westminster Catechism, *cough cough*). 

Behold me, amateur, as I wake up in the morning with a bleary mumbled greeting of thanks to my Lord. Then, I somehow manage by his grace to get out of bed and mumble more thanks and eat my breakfast. As I involve myself in the lives of my family, my own musings, books, movies, I "amen" to something someone else says. Watch carefully as I "fall more in love with Jesus" as I subsequently forget to pray the entire day and haphazardly return to Colossians 1 two minutes before I crash into sleep. Did you take notes? 

As you can see, I'm the master at the Christian walk. Pfft.

This is weighing heavily upon me. Shouldn't I be more in love with the Lord than a month ago? Deeper in my prayer life? More attached to the Scriptures or more willing to be a servant? More in tune with the Lord's will, what he desires and wants?

What is preventing me? What's preventing you? I can tell you, I know enough to know that Jesus hasn't changed or done anything different. I can tell you for sure that the Holy Spirit is still in me. God is real. So what's up?

Answer? Ahh, yes, the usual culprit:

Me.

I left one of the most encouraging, Christ-centered, Jesus-filled communities on earth at my school in May. I came home to wonderful family and have had to slow down a lot, giving me a lot more free time despite working, and I've been able to do so much at church. I came back riding high but somehow, as I've discovered, deluded myself into thinking I could simply coast. It's like I slipped into this summer haze of autopilot where suddenly, I just don't feel like doing anything that takes effort anymore. And I'm the only person to blame.

You see, despite the wonderful spiritual growth and Jesus-totally-provided experiences and everything, I am still an inch from sliding back into old habits. Sure, the Spirit is sanctifying me, but cooperating with him helps! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the issue.

Feelings aside, I know there are things I should be doing. The Christian walk is an active one that demands our full participation. Jesus said, "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me" (Luke 9:23). More and more am I realizing how hard it is to die to oneself.

You see, the answer to "somehow I deluded myself" is making one small choice of laziness that ended up into a slothful snowball. And actually, as I'm sitting here, I just realized a moment a few weeks ago when I skipped reading the Bible because I was tired and had to get up early for work the next day. Ta-da, thank you for playing on our show.

Pinpointing our sin is part of what the Holy Spirit does in our lives. Thanks be to God for getting me back on target and realigning me. For helping me to see.

Allure and Afterbite

How easy is it to skip reading the Bible? Prayer? Accountability? Fellowship with other members of the Church?

I believe the answer to these questions can show us a lot about ourselves and our walk in Christ. The seduction of self, of others, and of the world is great. Not often do the powers of this world storm into our lives with guns blazing; we would notice right away if something was up. Instead, in a more deceptive and cunning pattern, we are slowly-but-surely drawn away from the narrow path of the Lord's truth.

Just like in Eden, it all begins with entertaining a thought: "What if...?" Then, we mull over it and think of ways to act it out. "Maybe if I..." Soon, we justify our behavior to ourselves and our thoughts become reality. We already have something planned out to say as a reason/excuse as to why we did/didn't do something, just in case anyone asks us. After a while, this becomes a behavioral pattern. Too late, we find ourselves unrecognizable, scrabbling desperately at the bottom of a black hole which we slowly slid into because we weren't careful enough to guard against the first crack in the sidewalk. ("Watch and pray," anyone? Matthew 26:41, Genesis 4:9?)

I was thinking the other day about how easy it would all be. It would be cake for me to live sinfully. To give into the flesh 24/7 and to completely live my life for me would be painfully simple, because nothing wrong is really beneath me. At my core, I am a sinner who is addicted to the allures of this present darkness. I am not "too good" for anything. 

The mosquitoes around my house are terrible this summer. Afterbite is a common item in my medicine cabinet these days. Like sin, however, mosquito bites take time before we realize just how bad they are. The extent of damage isn't fully revealed until later when we suddenly see a huge, swollen red lump that commands our attention and cannot be hidden no matter how hard we try. Sin doesn't fade away after a week, though. If left unchecked, James warns, "sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death" (1:15). 

Paul laments in Romans 7:24, "Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?" Our bodies are doomed. There is no way out, humanly speaking. We are subject to death.

BUT, because of the blood of Jesus, death doesn't have to touch us. There is a cure for this ravaging ailment. God rescued us by sending his own son to die. By his wounds, we are healed. "Thanks be to God," Paul says, "who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (7:25) Yes! This is the antidote, the ultimate "afterbite" against the allure, the temptation, the death and destruction of ourselves. Thank you, loving Father, for your cleansing and forgiveness; otherwise, I have a frightful idea as to where I could be found. 

Realizing where I could be without redemption moves me to live a life that seeks to glorify and give thanks to my Savior. I look to him. 

Downton and de Rosset

Who thinks, really, about what it means to be "dignified?"

We associate such a word with old Victorian tea parties and stiff-necked grandmothers who fuss over things that "aren't important anymore." We don't entertain the term as part of our daily lexicon, and we shove it under the bed, quietly filed away with other forgotten virtues that are eternally attached to women from "back in the olden days" (chastity, anyone?)

Despite our delusions, dignity is quite a godly attribute. In fact, it's pretty important in the Scriptures.

Living out the truth that we are valued. Self-respect, because we are not our own and have been bought with a price. Character. Integrity. Psalm 1. Wisdom. Proverbs 4.

Proverbs 31:25-26 describes the woman  as being clothed with strength and dignity. In this passage, she is the end result of what happens when one follows the path of wisdom. A dignified woman. A "formidable, self-possessed woman of fully realized moral sensibility." You may recall Abigail, who saved her household from her husband's stupidity.

Who doesn't want to be like that? Not just a face, but a three-dimensional human being who is loved and known and important because of her Creator, and she walks in this truth with her head held high, knowing that she has value. She recognizes that being a daughter of the King is a serious business that ought to change her perspective on everything. Because she knows her value in the eyes of her Father, she isn't afraid (and is empowered by the Spirit) to be herself, to contribute, to live a pure life, to stand up for the Lord. 

I recently finished watching the fourth season of the TV series "Downton Abbey" and had the hardest time letting go of the show until the next round of episodes. Despite being a fictional series, the world of early-1900s England seemed like a magical realm of order, modesty, and subtlety. There is something enchanting about it all even though the time was rife with scandal and cover-ups. Yet, the cover-ups ensued one after another because the worst thing in the entire world was for a family to have its name tarnished. There's something about dignity as a priority that we've apparently forgotten. 

How do you walk?

Yank your eyes off the ground. You are His child, and you have been made in His image. You are called to live in dignity: walking in the truth of your identity in Christ. May we all. 

Thanks, Dr. de Rosset, for your book that got me thinking and praying. Quote from Unseduced and Unshaken. 

Rocks and Wraiths

It's funny how shame suddenly appears when we least expect it.

Working at a toy store gives one perspective, particularly when your boss's dad bequeathed his rock collection to her and she needs your help sorting it all. There I was, picking through a gallon-sized Ziploc of leopard skin pebbles and trying to figure out which ones counted as "large," when a wave of emotions pummeled me with past regrets. Some of it had to do with a dream I'd had the night before involving some people from last year that re-awakened old thoughts and feelings. Dark memories captained my mind for a full five minutes and followed me home until I reminded myself of the Word and went to sleep.

Truth is, the wraiths from our past can be our greatest enemies if we don't know how to fight them. I've tried to "handle" my burdens through a variety of means, and that situation from my first semester in college is a prime example of how I just couldn't let go of something. I justified, I hid, I buried, I tried to smooth past it, talk about it a lot, prayed about it even. I "gave it up to the Lord." I attempted to hurry past it all and pretend like it had never happened. I wrote about it, shoved it away. But, once I was truly alone on Christmas Break, regret and shame jumped me like a 300-pound defensive tackle. I was miserable and felt terribly alone, not understanding why if I had talked to the Lord so much already. It was then that I confessed I had made a mistake, not only in the situation, but how I dealt with it. It simply took reliance on Christ and time. It took me over a month to forgive myself and those involved.

Most importantly, I finally understood that, all along, the Lord had been trying to teach me a big lesson that I could've only learned by going through that experience. I am a stronger Christian, sister, counselor, encourager, and friend because of what I went through; although it happened, I don't have to fear shame about it, because I know the truth: I am cleansed, and Jesus has taken all my shame for me. He died and hung on a cross for ME, was naked and spat upon and mocked and scorned for ME. I have been justified through faith, and I can stand forgiven, with no condemnation (Romans 5:1 and 8:1). Even when regrets attempt to come back and overwhelm me, I know the truth now. I can kill the ghosts. 

By the Spirit, I can walk in the truth, even when my sin appears to be unforgiven and I feel like one big mistake. Relying on the Spirit is the only way we can live triumphantly in Christ; otherwise, our flesh takes over, and its yells quickly drown out the voice of the Lord. Every day, I need to pray for strength by the Spirit to live as an overcomer. I'm not as strong as I perceive myself to be. 

That is why I lift my eyes unto the hills, for that is where my help comes from: the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.